Tuesday, November 18, 2014

So I thought tonight would be a good time to go through my mailbag and answer a few questions from my fans.  There's more of these than I could ever get through, so if I don't answer yours, don't worry too much.  It probably just means it was dumb or boring.

Suzy Jagsfan asks:  What football player was your hero when you were young, before you made the pros?

Well, Suzy, the answer is me.  I used to watch pro football with my dad and I was better than all those guys.  Still am.


Stanker Weelad asks:  I want to be just like you when I grow up.  What can I do now (I'm 8 years old) so that someday I can be as good as you?

Hey, Stanker.  First, I'm not even 8 yet, so basically you're too late and you're probably terrible.  Second, even if it wasn't too late, the fact that you're probably terrible would've held you back.  If you want to be more like me, be better.  Because I'm better than you.


Cal Rypien asks: Who's your favorite baseball player?

I don't play baseball.  It's boring and dumb.  I heard about this one guy, though.  Kobe Bryant.  YEAH!  I'm probably better than he is, though.  Like, by a lot.


G Nobutts asks:  Where's the flamingo?

Not my problem.  Find it.  Make yourself useful for a change.  You can find pants but not a flamingo?  Seriously?  Wow.  You're lame.


Picky Eater asks:  What's the best snack after a big game?

Well, Picky, I like greenies.  They're good for you, I understand that they now contain Vitamin R, and all you have to do to get them is run around in circles a few times until the dumb people toss a few your way.


Lanky G asks:  What's the dumbest question you've gotten in response to your blog?

Lanky G asks:  What's the dumbest question you've gotten in response to your blog?

 Like 25 people ask:  Why are you so brangy?

Why indeed?!


Brangy Cacophony asks:  What's your favorite band??  I love you!!

Hey Brangy, my favorite band is Pink Floyd.  I love Pink Floyd.  I don't love you.


J. Pinkman asks:  Where's the meth?

And that's all for this week!  Send in more questions and I'll answer them as time permits!





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